Monday, November 26, 2012
Don't Tell Your Girlfriends
You meet a guy and he's cute, nice, charming, lovely, smart , maybe even successful, and just so likable in everyway. But wait, hold on, buckle up, you don't know who he is. You don't even know if he's the one, nor if you even like him yet. This situation happened to me. You meet a guy and surely, you think, he's a candidate, and hell i'm tired of waiting so,you try to seat fill him into your love fantasy. We end up telling our friends, "I met someone" and our friends who hope for us to find love, are so excited for us, sometimes, way too excited. You may see no problem with telling your friends or family about a certain someone. However, what may seem innocent, really isn't. Unless you're a woman like me and you're as skeptical as me, when your friend tells you she met someone. Be careful who you tell. When you tell a friend you met someone, women don't think, "oh she met a guy, but who knows who this guy is yet, let's discover him, first". what a woman hears when you tell her you met someone is, "Om my, I've met the one". No matter how many times you say this, your girlfriends hears the same thing, "that you possibly found the one",lol. They never lose hope. Everytime you meet a guy and tell your friends, they become more eager and are at the edge of their seats everytime. They don't think to themselves, how many times you've said that, they just become more antsy, hoping its the one for you too.This is why it's best to keep their suspense down. Also, you don't know yet if it's going to work out or not. When it doesn't work out, you feel stupid, round 2 , here i come. Plus, you don't want to appear like you just hop from guy to guy, because you're always telling someone about some guy you met. Remember, meeting someone can simply mean that, you met someone. It doesn't mean you actually met someone, who you will marry. However, you're friends may not be keen enough, due to excitment, to decipher. They actually hear the words, "I've met my lover". Keep them out of it. Half of them are nosy anyway! I mean, why does it seem like our girlfriends are more interested in our love affairs than we are. I mean, can I like homeboy before you like him more. Can he get in good with me first? Another thing to consider is this, your girls might put things in your head to further confuse you. For example, they might feed you fantsies that do nothing more than make you despearate, eager, and a believer of the love fantasy and even a chaser in some aspects. They may recommend you call him, pursue him, or buy him gifts for his birthday. In the beginning, and or in the end, they may tell you what you want to hear or make the blow worst if things don't work out. I recently made the biggest mistake opening up to my girlfriends about Mr. Goody two shoes, who is the guy that I recently sort of dated. That was a big mistake, especially because one of my friends presented a very disappointed attitude that even hurt my feelings, once I told her things ended. She even told me that she was secretly praying that we would love each other and get married! That shit is so not cute and on top of that, it's intrusive. Here my friend is, praying for me to end up with a guy who wasn't even a good guy for me to begin with. He was cunning, decietful and phony and recently going through a divorce, yuck! That's why you have to keep your girlfriends out of it. I already felt bad ,and here she is making me feel worst, unintentionally, because she was hoping for the best between me and a guy I shouldn't have been entertaining in the first place. This is why you have to be careful about opening up to your friends. Women will sometimes take ownership of your love life and act as if they're more affected by your decisions than you are. Remember, you're the only one that has to live with your decisions, not them. My friend was actually hoping for a spontaneous Vegas wedding. How weird!! If i didn't know this guys true intentions and ulterior motives until it was too late, then how could she? How weird of her. That was pretty creepy. And this, my friend, is why you shouldn't tell your girlfriends. One day I called my friend and the first thing she said to me is, "hi how are you, and how's _____? I was like, are you serious, this guy is not my husband/baby daddy, lol. Why are you asking me about him? Now, I know my friend means well, she's a great girl, so don't let my negative ranting take you off topic here. Our friends mean well, and their intentions wouldn't be so out of rhythm, if these guys were the one. In fact, their intentions would be right on the money. When we finally meet the right guy, this quirky behavior that our friends and sometimes family members display will be okay, but until then, avoid these consequences, hush, hush! I was more offended to know that my friend found the need to pray for my love life and then pray for me to be with a particular guy, without first knowing what this man's true nature was, what was best for me, or what i deserved nor consulting me and my true hearts desires first. Once I looked within and became one with my true desires and was true to myself, I realized he wasn't what I really wanted in the first place. I guess my feelings were repressed and hidden behind the same desperation I projected onto my friends. Due to this former guy's level of success, and respect level, he was judged against past duche bags, that I entertained. Therefore, everyone was rooting for this dude, although he turned out to not be the right guy for me. In fact, he's not even capable of loving me the way I deserve to be loved. This guy turned out to not be the most honest creed. No hard feelings, but I don't even think this guy was designed for me. I wish i had kept to myself that i had "met someone", lol, but my anxiety got the best of me. Guess I should listen to my gut feeling next time. I found some advice to be useful from a young lawyer stating, why tell your girls about a guy anyway? why so soon? That is so true. Why do we tell our girls about guys we just met, so soon? That is so not kosher. Men never tell. In fact, the way to tell if a man is serious about you is by knowing who he's telling about you. Men only speak about you to their friends and family, only if they are in love or rather serious about you, point, blank, period! Why don't we take on those same attitudes and become rather secretive about our temporary lovers , until our permanent Mr. Right comes along! Hold out , until Mr. Right comes along. I like the sound to that ring. I know it will be rather hard because for me, I sometimes don't feel like it's real for me until I speak on it, with another girlfriend. Now I'm seeing things differently. Perhaps maybe it's a sign that it's not real when i speak on it. Perhaps, I should retire from talking so much. The moral of the story is, don't tell your friends about so and so, until you know for sure that it's real and it's right.