Saturday, December 29, 2012

You've Made Mistakes, so What, Love Yourself Anyway!~

In the quest of understanding men and true love, I read so many how to articles. The Do's and the Don't. Out of all the wonderful material i have read, there is one thing missing from each story, article and book, and that one thing is, self-love. No one ever tells us women how to love ourselves and how to value our worth. No we're always sent the message of, change , improve, do better next time, he's just not that into you, he doesn't want you, he will marry her, blah, blah, blah, etc! Where is the, no matter what , love yourself messages? Well I am here today to tell you what no one ever will, why? because misery sales. I make no money off of this blog, I do this out of the kindness of my heart and true desire to help. I will tell you like noone else will today and always, love yourself and know that you are a blessing beyond measure, because if you don't , he won't. Let this be our new mantra. Improving yourself is a never ending process, so why spend countless hours trying to do something that sends the message of "defect" to self. We are not defected, we are not damaged, and we are not messed up. We are great women who may have never been told this very here message. Imagine how much heartbreak you could have saved yourself from and or your friend from, if we told each other every now and again, you're too good for that. Women are accustomed to being insecure when it comes to relationships. I was talking about a guy i recently sort of dated with some girlfriends who were also having guy problems and my conclusion about my situation seemed to elicit a reaction in one of the ladies. She kept replying with, "well people can change" , maybe he'll change", as if she was implying that I shouldn't give up. Now, after listening to me express my unhappiness and feelings of not getting what I deserve, her reaction should have been, good for you girl! You deserve the best! I see that, women don't know how to do this. Most of our break downs, counseling sessions, depression , sorrow, self loathing and insecurities in relationshiops stems from a man that influenced us in our lives at some point in time. What we need is to be told, you are beautiful! Imagine how quick your true self could be put in perspective, if for once someone just told you the greatest truth about yourself. So ladies, I'm here to do just that. It's looked at as normal for men to be confident in the game of love , but for women to be insecure, doubtful and dependent. Well I say, ta hell with that. Believe in yourself. It seems like men are too complex to ever have success with. This is what I say, follow the rules, yes! If you didn't read my previous blog entries, let me remind you to get a copy of book, "The Rules", by Ellen Fein. Follow the rules, learn the game, understand men, and always work on being a better you, however, if you don't know the rules and you have made mistakes in the past and you're making those same mistakes now, it's okay, you're still you, a dime piece, so love yourself anyway! No matter how you have failed in love, and no mattter how many heartbreaks you have encountered and no matter the mistakes, you are still you, so love yourself anyway. Your success is not determined by who loves you nor how many men can catch and keep you. Your sucess is determined by self. Let your self be your guide. I am sick and tired of these relationship messages conveying, defect and self fixing. Regardless of what you have done in the past and or present that isn't working for you, know that you are a wonderful being , who deserves self love. (Personal Secrets): Men who aren't good for you secrectly want you to feel insecure about yourself, so that they can get over on you, and get what they want, while wasting your time. Imagine this, a real man wants you to love yourself. Stay high, so that he can find you. Do not let people convey negative messages to you such as, why aren't you married? why are you single? Where's your man. Remember, you are not determined by if a man loves you or not. You are defined by your own mesaures. New Mantra: love yourself and know that you are a blessing beyond measure, because if you don't , he won't

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

How To Get A Man To Connect (by Christian Carter)

Written by, Christian Carter. How To Show Him You're A Great Catch So you've finally met a man you really like and can see yourself having a relationship with him. You should make an effort to show him you're a real find, right? Actually, no. The fantastic thing about being a woman is that getting a man to see how wonderful you are doesn't involve any effort at all. In fact, putting effort into trying to get or keep a man will end up pushing him away. If you've ever had a man seem very interested in you at first only to suddenly become distant and pull away, this could be the reason why. Showing a man you're someone he wants to get closer to requires the opposite: It's all about simply being, not doing... It's Not What You Do, It's What You Are When we meet a great guy, we women often try to do, do, do whatever we can to make him see what a great catch we are. We'll go out of our way to do things for a man, plan outings together, and sometimes even say yes to things he wants that go against what we want. You can't convince a man to fall in love. But you can lead him there by connecting to his heart. One of the most powerful ways to do this is to let yourself be guided by your feminine energy rather than your masculine. Feminine energy is about being instead of doing. When you focus on simply being in the moment and enjoying a man's company and attention, you automatically shift your vibe so that he can step into the masculine, doer role. To do that, you must first be open to receive. A Great Catch Lets A Man Give To Her Inspiring a man to see you as the one woman he wants to be with forever is all about you being able to receive love. Men fall in love when they give to you, not because of how much you give them or do for them. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you. When you're open to receiving from a man, you're sending a message that you value yourself - you believe you're worthy of his time, attention, gestures, and ultimately his love. So resist the temptation to prove your worth by giving, and instead create the space for him to give to you. A Great Catch Sets Boundaries He Needs To Respect Men are competitive creatures who value what they have to work hard to get. If he gets a sense that you're completely devoted to him with very little investment on his part, he'll question your value. This means you do not give away exclusivity to a man until you have the commitment you want from him. Instead, you keep dating and meeting lots of different men so that you give yourself a chance to find out what you really want and need from a relationship. At the same time, you aren't prematurely cutting yourself off from your Mr. Right in case you haven't met him yet! When you keep the focus on yourself and keep yourself open to other men, you send the message loud and clear that you're a woman who puts herself first and that you are a prize. This elevates your "degree of difficulty" so he has to step up his game to get you all to himself... or risk another guy beating him to it. A Great Catch Puts Herself First The most important thing to remember when you're dating a man and want him to realize how wonderful you are is to put your happiness first. If you love taking a dance class every Thursday night, don't give it up just because he's in the picture and you don't want him to think you're not interested. Letting him know you have a life outside of him actually makes him more attracted to you - not just because you're not about to drop everything for him, but because people who are passionate about their interests are interesting people! So, tell him, "It would feel so great to see you Thursday, but I have my dance class that night, and I love it. I'm free Tuesday or Friday." Then ask him what he thinks. It might feel a little scary to do this with a guy you really like, but the right guy will gladly re-arrange his plans to see you. Why? Because you've just proven you're a great catch he has to woo and win. When you try to convince a man that you're a great catch, you end up giving off a "needy" vibe that actually dampens his attraction for you. Having to "prove" yourself makes him think that you don't have a solid sense of self. But when you focus on yourself rather than on HIM, it automatically conveys that you think you're a great catch. Your strong self-esteem is intriguing to him. He'll see it and want to win you over. Learn How To Naturally Draw Him In, Step By Step We women have been taught that we need to work to show a man we're worthy of his love. And we've been taught wrong. You already have everything you need to draw a man in NATURALLY and make him fall hopelessly in love

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Be Yourself (Be Nice & He No Like)

Hello ladies! I'm a strong advocate of being myself. I love me and wouldn't change a thing. Of course, I would like to be more of the queen goddess in this love game, but character wise, I love me for who I am. Be who you are who ever that is. If you're funny, quirky, fun loving, mean, bitchy, talkative, etc, if that's who you are, be it. Many women try to be something they're not and or try to prove themselves to men, only to find out that, they choose the women who wasn't trying so hard. I have seen women who were damn there naked, selling a dream and guys saw my natural beauty and looked over them , trying to get to me. My point here is, be yourself and don't give in to any man. Don't perform, switch up nor pretend to be something you're not. He will only end up with a woman who bees herself. Remember, men are Borderline personality when it comes to women. What they may dislike in you, they will like in another, so listen to nothing they say. Men have a habit of demeaning a woman's worth sometimes. I'm over being nice and passive. Men don't appreciate that, so be yourself , whoever that may be. That's what men fall for.

Shhhh, Keep Quiet!

Women are talkers, while men are action driven. I always say,a man talking too much ain't really talking about nothing. A woman who says nothing, but shows all through her actions, now that's danger! Today's blog entry is about women catching up to their true emotions, faster and learning how to be five steps ahead. As I have said before, love is a chess game. You want to know how to play, say nothing! Stop talking; stop defending; stop arguing; stop pleading; stop explaining. In fact, just keep quiet. Every time I have opened up and expressed myself to a man,it got me nowhere. It's a set up. Don't fall for it. Sometimes a man willing to listen can be such a turn on, but in actuality, if you don't really know this man and you are not emotionally connected to that man, you're opening up like a loose cannon. Men have mastered non verbal communication. They communicate messages to women all the time, without saying a word. It works, so why not use their tactic. Everytime I talk about my feelings, I get talked out of them, and it causes confusion. When you talk about your feelings, you are giving a man a guide to talk you out of how you are feeling. If you learn when not to speak, you will gain these following things. 1) knowing how you truly feel about a man. 2) Zero tolerance. 3) having peace of mind. 4)Wasting no time and 5) Gaining more respect. Men are use to women talking about themselves and their feelings. When a woman is silent, it's game on. Men are use to knowing how to gauge women, by listening to them talk, but if you keep quiet, he will be forced to learn you and bend to you. He will have to work harder to understand. The less you say, the more power you have. Now when i say, don't talk so much, i don't mean say absolutely nothing. Of course not, be yourself. Just keep quiet when it comes to your emotions. Let him sweat trying to figure it out. Talking is intimate, so don't waste your words. Think about every time you wined, cried, yelled, got really emotional, pleaded, etc. Did it get you anywhere? Now think about all the guys you're reserved, quiet and less expressive around. Do you see the difference? Stop talking ladies ,and learn to communicate non verbally, because just as women fall for a man's words, because women are more verbal, well men analyze your behavior because they express themselves the same way. Learn to communicate your desires, feelings, and needs, by using their language,ACTION! Forget your words, they will get you nowhere. Never believe that a man will do for you because you talked so much about it to him. It's the total opposite. Men fall for you, when they can't read you through your words. So until next time ladies, shhhhhhh, keep quiet!

Passive vs Aggressor

Women are known for being the receivers, aka, (passive), while a man is known for being the aggressor. Due to a new shift of men acting like B**@@!,and being more passive these days, women have become more aggressive than ever before. Well , as a woman, you should be able to kick back and relax your feet and not work so hard for a man. In fact, use these modern day male tactics. Today, men with feminine characteristics know how to play the female game. They don't speak first. They don't chase and they now play hard to get. If that behavior makes a woman more aggressive and makes her chase a man more, then use his tactics, and take back your womanhood. Two feminine energies cancel out each other, just as well as two masculine energies cancel out each other. If one person has feminine and or masculine energy, the opposite sex will lean more towards the opposite energy. Therefore, be feminine and let a man give to you. It's not psychological and no one is conscious of this operation, because it's, biological. If you find yourself attracted to a man that is not so manly, check your energy. It's not that you're not so feminine and lovely, you may just need to tone down your aggressive energy, which confuses the natural biological process. Be the peace maker. Just be and exist. Don't be a doer. Don't help a man. In other words, tap more into your softer, female goddess, and ask for guidance. Remember, if he's being passive, and that makes you aggressive, then switch up and become more passive, to attract more masculine energy, aka the aggressor. :) Until next time.