Thursday, February 25, 2010

Trust in Yourself and Believe in Yourself

Love yourself Ladies!!!

Have standards, boundaries and rules! Be not afraid to express them. A man will walk all over you, if you let him. In fact, it doesn't even matter if he's a good guy, religious guy,or bad boy. If you let him get away with anything, no matter how small it is, he will degrade you. Keep it real and let it be known. Stand up for yourself, and love your self. Do it for self love. Don't allow him to manipulate you into thinking you love yourself too much. It's none of his business, you're doing it for self love!

No one will respect you if you don't.

Never listen to his words (Watch his actions)!

As a man speakith, so is he. If he's talking, that's just what he is, a talker. Never believe what he's telling you and or promising you. Believe what he does and let him show you. Men are more action oriented. Don't fall for the okie doke. Don't fall for a man who says that he doesn't want to show you off in front of his families and friends. Never believe a man who claims that he doesn't want to bring you around, for the sake of running into his ex girlfriend, babies mother or ex wife. He's just not that into you. A man does not care who he hurts, when it comes to the woman he loves. He's just not that into it, if he has excuses. Men break hearts all the time, when it comes to following their own hearts desires, trust me. Trust no mans words, watch his actions.

P.S. I know of a guy who attends my church,who barely talks or calls, yet he's determined to search for me every church service. He follows me around, waits for me at places he knows I will show up and he begs to take me out, and he doesn't even have much money. In fact, he'll spend his last five dollars on me, just because he wants to be around me. That's action! A mans words is never enough, and don't you believe it is. No matter who he thinks he is, his words will reveal his true nature,because as a man speaketh, so is he. Watch a man's actions, never believe his words, unless of course,he backs it up with action. winks.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Never stay Pass your due date!

A man knows when he should be left alone. Never ever stay pass your due date. If a man does one thing that is out of line,or over steps your boundaries, hit the road! If it's a sign, it's a sign. A man knows when a woman should hit the road, but he won't say anything until it's done. In fact, don't fall for a man who begs for you not to leave him alone after he has misbehaved, it's a trap. If you stick around, he still won't respect you, and most likely will do whatever it was that upset you in the first place again, and why? Because men respect those who respect themselves. He admires the woman who will leave him,if he's inappropriate. Men love to be spanked when they have misconduct. Men respect a woman who dumps him when he deserves it. A man will never respect you if you allow him to disrespect you once and you stick around. Know your boundaries and hit the road when you feel it's right, leave no notes or explanations, he knows what he has done to deserve such a punishment. This may be a reason why, when you tell it like it is, he gets aroused. Men know when they should be put in check, told off or dumped! They sometimes even test you, to see where your self value is, by observing what you choose to stand for and not put up with. Men love a woman who values her self worth.

Never stay pass your due date. No matter how little or how small your reasoning is, a man will never respect you if you do.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

East Coast Men vs The West Coast People

Have I ever seen anything like this, never!

East and West, so different. Guys from the east are so different. They can be sweet, kind, straight up, and gentle. You know the take home to mom types. Although east guys have their good points, they come on too strong. They are quick to act as if they know you, before they really do. Love at first sight kind of guys, i mean, damn! back up, take it easy, be slow, bro. The west coast guys, hell, they are ruthless!! They are not gentle, very sensitive about their emotions, gangster, and will call you out your name if you piss them off at the drop of a dime. Not all of them are disrespectful though. West coast guys just aren't gentleman, too busy trying to be cool, calm and collective. Anything that falls under chivalry, isn't his style. They are not the take them home types, unless of course, you get a good one,a diamond in the rough. Cali guys have their bad points, but they do keep it real. One thing I can appreciate with west coast guys is, you know where you stand with them. If they want to hit, you know. If they want to be just friends you know. If they want to be with you, you will know. Whatever they are coming into your life for, you will know why and for what reason. East coast people are so cunning. They hide their agenda's, and motives. They have a more sly way of getting what they want. I can appreciate an east coast persons realness, and hospitality and although west coast people can be a little too Hollywood and phony, at least you know where you stand with them. California people are some of the realist, fakest people, you'll ever meet, lol. Fake, but so real when it comes to handling business, and interpersonal relationships. While east coast people are some of the realist, fakest people you'll ever meet. They are so upfront, rude, confrontational, judgmental, critical, and hell of verbal. However, although having a reputation for being real, you never know where these people are coming from, what they're thinking or what they're up to, in other words, their motive. Some of the realist, but fakest!, lol. West coast people just like to front, they like to dream a little, fantasize if you will, i mean, it is fantasy island, where dreams come true. When it comes to handling that business, and choosing friendships, & relationships,these people are very selective and they keep it real. East coast people play too many mind games and too many mouse and cat games. I've never had to teach so many people lessons in my life. It seems like guys back east just don't get it, until you put up a chase, teach a lesson, or tell it like it Ti's. I just wish you knew where folks was coming from. Wish you could keep it real, what's your motive?
West coast people may love the fame and riches, but when they choose a friend or mate, forreal, forreal, they choose a friend for life. East coast people can be so flaky, they come and go. You never know how long they'll stick around, or what their intentions are. It's hard to know who's in it forreal!

Don't be mad, if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it.
I'd rather have it straight up. Soon, heading back home will all be too soon, and close to come.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Watch Out for Defensiveness

Watch out for a defensive man

Have you ever noticed when a man gets defensive? it usually comes after he has something to hide. Watch out for defensive men or defensive behavior in men! If he gets defensive about something you ask or bring to his attention, it's a red flaggggggg. Men who have nothing to hide, will never act in a defensive manner. If you give him no word play and he comes out of nowhere and says, " you're acting like I'm trying to sleep with you", or " you're acting as if I'm cheating", and you never verbalized that thought, he's revealing himself. Listen to a man's reaction, it reveals his inner thoughts, & his character. Defensiveness simply reveals his subconscious self. Use it as your guide.

Men Like Rules

Men Like rules.

Tell him what you feel, how you feel and do as you please. If he doesn't like it, then he doesn't like you. A man would rather know how you feel , rather than have you spring it on him, in a cunning manner. Explain your requirements, if you feel he's worthy and it's not to soon to tell, then do it and let it be. After knowing where you stand, If he decides to exit the stage left, that's just his way of telling you that, he wasn't the one for you anyway.

"MEN LIKE RULES" They want to know where they stand, so let it be known. Time is everything, so do it in a timely fashion.

Women Assuming A man's feelings

Good Afternoon,

Class has begun. How many of you women can raise your hands and say that, you've been head over heels,in like, in love, or infatuated? Can we say, I. Women can fall head over heels, based off of the anticipation of something desirable manifesting. A woman tends to believe that, when she is head over heels, so is the man she is head over heels for. Research shows that, we blame others for the way we feel. In other words, if someone behaves a certain way, you will blame their behavior on their disposition and character, and when you behave a certain way, you blame it on outside influences, or the situation(Fiske, 2004). It is also true for a woman, that when she likes a guy, she assumes he is doing something to intentionally make her like him, and although it may be true, is it 100% true, or does some of those feelings reflect , fantasy island, her mental state? In psychology, we learn that, no one can make you feel happy, nor sad. They can only present a behavior that as a result, you are stimulated to feel a certain way about. Unless someone is intentionally trying to make you feel good or bad, and or inducing harm to you, they aren't forcing you to feel anything. You are still in control of what you allow yourself to react to. So instead of saying, "you make me happy, or sad", you can say, "I feel this way, as a result to what you have presented before me", lol. A woman unconsciously feels that, a man is forcing her to feel love for him. Now if he is courting you and trying to make you feel good intentionally, fine, so be it, enjoy it. But before you assume a man feels the same way you do, make sure. Sometimes women get so far beyond themselves and take off at full speed, leaving the guy behind, assuming he feels the same, thinking to themselves, "if i feel this way, than so must he", or "so will he", for the wishful thinkers, lol.
The only way to know how a man feels, is to know! Observe his actions, and see if they suit his words. If his actions, behavior or words do not match, there is an in congruence. Evaluate how he feels, based off of what he does, and what he says to you. Do not assume a man feels the same way you feel, unless you know for a fact, he does. Trust me, you will know when a man is head over heels for you, because, he will carry you in his spirit, he will make you apart of his world, without disrupting your world. He will not try to change you, nor conform you, he will accept you and embrace you the way you are. He will learn you and not assume he already knows you after a couple days, weeks or months. He will honor you, support you, make sure he provides resources for your survival. He will also profess his love for you and aim to protect you. A man loves differently from a woman, his love is very action oriented. Every man's love is different, but the only way to measure a man's desire for you, is to measure that man. Follow your gut feelings, you know the answer. The only way to know is, to know.

In the words of a Psychologists I know, "Don't make a decision, unless it's an informed decision".

Take your time and do not assume anything~

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Female Eagle

Okay ladies, this is about the female eagle, large bird. Understand the metaphor behind the movement of this story. This is how U should choose your man.

(As told by the Wintu Tribal Elders of California)

When it comes time for the female Eagle to choose her mate, she prepares herself for many suitors. And many come before her. She looks them over quite well and then picks one to fly with for awhile.

If she likes the way he flies she finds a small stick, picks it up and flies high with it. At some point she will drop the stick to see if
the male can catch it. If he does, then she finds a larger stick and flies with it much higher this time. Each time the male catches the stick, she continues to pick up a even larger stick. When she finds the largest, heaviest stick that she herself can carry, the stick is at this point almost the size of a small log! But she can still fly very high with this large stick. With this log, she flies at her highest, then she drops it.

At any time in this process, if the male fails to catch the stick, she flies away from him as her signal that the test is now over. She begins her search all over again. And when she again finds a male she is interested in, she starts testing him in the exact same way. And she will continue this "testing" until she finds the male Eagle who can catch all of the sticks. And when she does, she chooses him, and will mate with him for life."

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Men Changing Women

Men sometimes believe that, when they get with you, they can change you or mold you into what they want you to be. Don't change for a man. Let him get whom ever he's trying to change you into. What attracted him to you, is probably who you are. Men will never tell you this, but, what they complain about most, is what arouses them. Allow a man to uplift you, and treat you like a queen, if he wishes to, but do not allow him to criticize who you are. If he isn't Moses himself, sent by the (God's) to help you, he's criticizing and trying to change you. So if you were stripping on a pole before you met him, keep stripping lol, don't change.

Keep stripping, keep being strong, keep being an activist, school teacher or who ever you are. Allow no man to criticize, nor change you. You have a right to be who you are. Understand the difference between uplifting and down playing.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Let him come to you

If a man really wants you, trust me, you'll know it! In the beginning stages, a man is supposed to chase you. Play no games. Do not allow him to reverse the chase. Don't go for the , let's go half on it thing. It is a man's job to hunt and a woman's job to be sought after. Feel not surprised when he comes after you, why wouldn't he, you're a prize. Do not let him trick you into sharing half of his job. In the olden days, a man was the hunter and provider for his family. He hunted, dear, duck, fish, whatever he could find. He didn't get upset when the prey refused to surrender, he kept trying until he caught the prize. Men are natural hunters. If he isn't hunting or easily giving up, he's probably feeling scared you may not feel the same, feeling lazy and or insecure. Real men hunt and this may be a reason, men brag, advertise and mount their achievements on their walls, or wear it on their sleeves. Whatever a man has worked hard for, he adores and puts on a pedistol.

Real men eat meat. They hunt meat!

Just look at Barack Obama, president of the united states. I mean, he's been married for over fifteen years to Michelle Obama, first lady. They have two children, and yet he still talks about how Michelle rejected him in the beginning and how hard he had to work to get her. I mean it's over. She was once his boss, but now, he's the president and her husband. The reason he still talks about this is, because he adores his sought after prize that he eventually won.

Proverbs 18:22

New International Version (1984)
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

New Living Translation (©2007)
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.

Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 19:14 House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.
Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels

A woman is a prize , always remember that, make him work for it!

You know how i feel about myself, Proverbs 8:35 "For he who finds me finds life And obtains favor from the LORD. For this reason, I hold out and conduct myself a certain way.

Men, Text Messaging and Calling

Ever wonder why men are texting so much these days?

Let's get this straight, men who like women don't text, they call. If a man is really trying to build a connection with you, he won't be using text messaging as his ultimate form of contact. He'll only use text messaging to plan for calls, dates or see if you're still alive. In fact, a man can't really connect with a woman without contact. If he's texting too much, chances are, he's just looking for some female energy to be around. He's not serious. Text messaging is his way of playing the field, having his cake and eating it too. If he has nothing to hide, and no woman is on her way, or just leaving his house, he'll call. Real men don't text, they call. Now, don't get me wrong, texting is the new thing in the millineum, however, if a person uses that as their first, only and ultimate form of contacting others, it's their way of being distant, and surfaced. A real friend, woman or man, will use all forms of communicating, rather, in person, phone calls, text, via email, twitter, facebook,etc.

Now here's where it gets good, text messaging should only be used to supplement phone calls, for example, "hey, just called, call me later", or " call me when you're free", or " meet me at the cafe". A text message only supplements a phone call that will take place, it does not replace a phone call. Too much texting from anyone is a red flag


Phone calls from a man should only be used to make dates to plan for one on one contact. Too much texting, calling or emailing and not enough planning is a red flag. Be careful that there is a balance.

Don't be fooled

Don't be fooled by the words, " I love her, but I'm not in love with her". That's just his way of saying, he DOESN'T LOVE YOU!
If he says that to you, that's his way of showing you he's still tied to his ex. If a man is madly in love with you, or head over hills for you, he will never have a need to not profess his love for another woman. He'll be so into you, he'll be telling you how much he loves you, and will have no room to talk about how much he "doesn't love someone else". I swear, men all read from the same handbook. What's the point of saying that anyway? There is no point, either he loves you or not. Chances are, if he's talking about another woman and how much he doesn't love her, he's still hovering over the situation, don't be fooled by the I love you's.

MEN ARE JUST LIKE WOMEN , ACCEPT LESS EMOTIONAL. That's the reason men get so in touch with their feminine sides when they fall hard. Think of how you are when you're in love, a man's love is no different. You will know when he loves you and only you!