Friday, August 31, 2012
Why Rush , when time fly's? Congratulations, we now live in microwaveable society. We want everything fast, now, quick and in a hurry. Today's society is in a rush. We want relationships, education, success, and friendship, with the same amount of density that we want our fast food? Now! But you can't do that with relationships, friendships, success, education, etc. You have to work hard for the things that require gradual steps. Relationships are no different and work the same way. You must build rapport,in order to make the flower grow. You cannot rush knowing someone. AS for me, you can't rush information from me. I'm an acquired taste, that one must take the time to know and learn. Any man entering my realm is an understudy, simply a young grasshopper. It takes time. When you meet someone, things may seem cool, but you don't know that persons family history, quirks, likes , dislikes, pet peeves,sexuality, nor his idiosyncrasies, so don't act like you do. Hell, you don't even really know if you get along with the person yet. When you don't know a person, trust that, you don't know them. Rushing this process is dangerous to the birds eye. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous! Be careful, you never know who you're talking to. That person could have a police record, a bad temper, mental health record, abusive tendencies,etc. He could also be a nice, and normal guy, but you don't know that yet, now do you? Never let a guy interview you, answer what you want, but always interview him! Now due to the time, days, weeks, months and earth moving at a more rapid speed than ever before, time fly's, so there's no need to rush. When you rush things, and the speed of lightening is already moving at a rapid pace, you are doubling up your speed. When you don't have to, because the earth is already doing that for you. When I look at how long I have known people and how long I have known the new people I just met, i think to myself, boy time fly's, so why rush a relationship, or getting to know someone. You have the speed of earth on your side, so don't rush. Take your time, time fly's.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
A young frat of mine, whom I had 1 wonderful, yet, intellectual conversation with, felt the need to come out of the blue and say, "hey soror, I just wanted to let you know that, I see you as a cool person and a friend and I'm not trying to hit on you, and I just want to be clear about this". He felt this need to tell me this, although, I don't want him, at all and I know I didn't give off any romantic fever!I wasn't even thinking about that stuff. This brings me to my next point: I love this quote Play Hard To Get "Some women think playing hard to get is a game. Really it is not. What it is, is the opposite of being easy to get?. How has being easy to get worked out for you? Hard to get is about building romantic tension. Hard to get is about being in control of your dating life. It is about controlling your romance temperament, love life and your future. Being hard to get means you will not have to ever settle for less than the happiness you want and&;deserve.;By being hard to get you will discover how the chase will be thrilling and memorable for both of you. You will have love, fun, respect and excitement. You can be hard to get and easy to be with at the same time. It's a balance. A man likes the chase. A man values most what he works the hardest for. You are the prize and a prize is not easy. Everyone knows that, what is valuable, does not come easy. Men work for the woman they view as the prize. Think of it like this. You are not Walmart merchandise, that is easy to get and usually has a low price tag. You are top shelf material and top shelf does not come easy".
Friday, August 24, 2012
Do you know that whatever type of man you deal with and or entertain, you reinforce whoever they are? I came up with this theory a while ago , which details the psychology of a man's behavior. Here's a little psychology for you: Positive Reinforcement is when a reward is presented with behavior, which increases that behavior. With any person's behavior , if the behavior is presented with a reward, the behavior is unconsciously reinforced, with or without you or the person knowing. We reinforce behavior all the time, even when we don't know it and even if It's totally accidental. If people behave a certain way , and you present yourself as a reward to that person , your presence and your acceptance of that behavior will increase that persons behavior! When dealing with men, be very careful about this. Men have personality traits, that were already in line before you came along, so be careful to entertain a man who is righteous. When you entertain a man at his best or his worst and something about him is either on point or off point, you will reinforce his behavior. Men come as they are , so rather he is Godly, unGodly, mean, nice , gay , downlow, ratchet, nasty, disrespectful, respectful, lovely, unlovely, smart, cheap, player, censored, uncensored, loyal, responsible ,bossy, etc, they secretly believe that you accept them as they are, even if they don't have good ,acceptable character. Why do you think their behavior gets worst or better? Its crazy huh, but do you know that, a man comes as, "AS IS MERCHANDISE" and they'd like to believe that you have radar. Never entertain a man with bad characteristics. Why? Because you will only increase his character. Just the other day , i was in a shop , as i noticed these two ratchet guys, who were just out of the gutter, however, i was still nice to them and even let them go ahead of me. I should have kept looking ahead, because one of the idiot guys came up to me and asked me if I were expecting? What? Nothing about me even looks pregnant. But this guy was ignorant. So you see, when you see a duck that goes quack, recognize that duck and keep it moving! Why? Because you will only reinforce their behavior and a man is a man. No matter how nice I was , he still felt impelled to ask me that offensive question, why? Because a glass is still a glass, no matter What you do! A dog is á dog , and dogs aré dirty; dogs have fleas and dogs bite. A dogs nature is his nature , and no matter how you treat him , it ain't going to change, because a man who is a dog can only be himself. Just as a good wholesome dude, who is a respectful, gentleman can only be who he is and can't change, well that also applies to a wack dude as Well. Do you ever notice when you meet a guy ,who is not really your type , who you may have a bad inkling about, and you end up entertaining him anyway, that he becomes more ratchet, disrespectful and dull by the moment? Let me tell you why, Its because you reinforced his behavior, therefore his behavior increased. The same rules apply when you meet a wholesome, respectful guy. Always reinforce good behavior.
I've come to realize that, the Ghandi quote, "Be the change you wish to see in others", is more applicable in every area of life. Let's start with relationships. Be the change you wish to be in your relationships. If you feel disrespected, respect yo self! (in my singing voice). Be what you wish to see in your mate. Provide for yourself, what you lack in life, from others. Here's a quote: "Self-Love as the Foundation: The truth that your relationships mirror your inner world re-enforces the greatest relationship advice you can ever receive, that of loving yourself. In a relationship in which your partner treats you with love and support, you will find that the basis for his or her love is the love you have towards yourself and so towards others. When you trust yourself and hence others, you will attract a trustworthy partner. When you believe in yourself and hence in others, you will attract a partner that believes in you. When you are kind to yourself and hence to others, you will attract a partner that is kind to you. When you love yourself and hence others, you will attract a loving partner and so on. Ultimately, a balanced and healthy love for oneself is the foundation of all successful relationships for it is truly the greatest love of all".
Thursday, August 16, 2012
I realize with men that, they never forget how they met you and what they had to do to get you. If he's a real man, he won't mind the fuss you put up, nor how hard you play to get, because he's here to play hard ball. A male, that isn't a real man will remember how he met you, your mannerisms, how hard you played to get, etc. When this male , who isn't a real man finally gets your attention and tries to conquer you, he will make you pay. Ever notice how a guy brings up how he met you over and over again, and or he may discuss how he courted you? Well , if you're dating a guy, who's out of your league, he will be sure to put you through hell. It's almost like punishment. Men will sometimes punish you, for being that great! Good guys don't mind, and they don't bite. Oh but real men impersonator's do. Always stick with the good guy , with good first impression rapport.
Friday, August 3, 2012
The Gentleman: He loves women. He was either raised right, has a good relationship with his mother, had an admirable dad, who taught him how to be a man and or he has a good head on his shoulder. He usually comes from a good family background. He's wholesome, all the way. He might even be a man of God. He opens doors, orders for you, keeps his promises, treats you with respect and adores you. He's reliable, worthy, upfront, communicative and has integrity. He likes to do for women. He treats all women great. The Lover: He loves women! He will uplift you and make you feel like a queen. This guy is a winner and needs to be a role model for all men.
The Relationship Guy : This guys goes from relationship to relationship. One chic after the next. He is in love with the idea of love. This guy doesn't value the actual woman. What he values is, the idea of not being alone.
The Player: This guy likes women, like a man likes money. He commits to no one. He treats women like pieces of meat.
The Control Freak: This guy wants to know all areas of your life, what you're doing, who you're doing it with, and how you're gonna do it..
The Ambiguous Guy: This guy leaves you guessing. You never know how he feels. You don't know if he has a girlfriend or not. You never know if he likes you or not. You don't even know if he's straight or gay. This guy will never make you feel desirable, in fact, he's the, he loves me , he loves me not kind of guy. He is a non verbal communicator, that sends two sided messages. Eff him.
The Womanizer This guy loves to toy with a woman's emotions. It's like dangling a carrot before her. He just wants to be desired and wanted. He loves to exploit women and play with their emotions,just to see how many women can fall for him, but it will always be at your expense. He doesn't care about you and has no heart. He just likes to play the game, just to see how many women he can attract. It's all about his ego being stroked. This is an insecure man.
The Married Type This guy has been married more than once, more than twice and in some cases, more than three times. He marries women,as if he's jumping into a relationship. For him, marriage means nothing more than a girlfriend on liability. Marriage assures him that,she ain't going nowhere and will be there when he returns at night. Marriage is more of an insurance plan.
The Non Committal Man: This guy will make you feel like he will wife you, but its his charm that throws you off. He will never commit to you, but will leave you with the suspense that he will. This man = Broken promises, which = broken hearts.
The Narcissist Delusions of grandeur define this guy. Grandiosity with a capitol G. He is self centered, all about him and self absorbed. He's a taker not a giver. He believes he is God's gift to women. He isn't a Godly man. He does not worship nor praise God. In fact, he's so disrespectful,he has a God complex. He believes that he is the prize and the ultimate guide to happiness for a woman. He believes that he is her provider and the day he entered her life, he brought joy and his commitment to her made her the happiest woman alive. He believes his presence is enough. He pretty much believes that he's the shit, although, he ain't shit.
The Unsure He may love you Monday and Hate you Tuesday. He's never consistent with whatever he promises. What he says is what he believes for that moment. He is confused about what he wants, and he is confused about you.
The Attention Seeker: This guy craves attention and yearns for it. He will exploit you at your expense, just to get the attention his narcissistic supply oh so needs. He may be a narcissist, misogynist, an ego maniac, or an insecure freak. Call it what you want, he just needs a fan club.