Monday, January 27, 2014

Relationship Diet!

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                                                 Relationship Diet

    This article entitled, “Relationship diet”, was named to mimic a “food diet”. When we think of diet, we most often think of a food diet. A food diet consists of low calorie, low fat, low sodium, and low carb foods. The goal of a diet is most likely to lose weight, and become healthier.  Have you ever heard of a relationship diet? It comes in the same form; accept. It doesn’t involve food. From my understanding, any book and or person giving advice on the do’s and don’ts in finding the perfect relationship are facilitating a diet, to perhaps motivate you to lose baggage and have a healthier relationship.  We never look at relationship gurus as facilitating a relationship diet, but if anyone is requiring certain behavior, for a certain outcome, it’s a diet. Diets can be fun, but I am beginning to wonder what makes someone an expert? Everybody’s life is different, so how can someone advise a person, as if they have walked in their shoes. Just as every trainer, nutritionist or weight loss coach has advice on how to lose weight and it all works for certain individuals; I notice the same thing with relationship coaches’ advice.  With there being so many food diets today, the best thing for myself to do is, learn what foods are good or bad for my blood type and create my own diet.
There are tons of relationship books, and relationship coaches out there; however, they all have different advice.  I notice that, many relationship coaches’ advice stems from their personal experiences. Therefore whose advice should one take, if one person’s advice contradicts the next person’s advice?  The answer is, create your own personal diet. Just as a person can design their personal food diet, you can do the same for your relationship diet. First pray or do whatever spiritual act that you do, take your life experiences that you have learned from and books you have read or advice you have gathered and create your own relationship diet.  No one is an expert at your life better than you.  If every diet works, because research shows people having results, from each diet, and research also shows that people have had positive results with relationship advice, how do you know which route to take? You have to figure out what works best for yourself and go that route.  It is good to seek counsel but sometimes the best advice comes from within. You know better than anyone what you want, just figure out how to get it and you have the hardest part out of the way.
I use to find myself in countless debates over the topic of love, only to feel invalidated for what I knew was true for myself in the end. I began to realize that, I don’t need validation from others.  Love is different for everyone. Everyone has his or her own idea of his or her perfect relationship. Either everyone is right or everyone is wrong.  If you can figure out what good traits work for you and what bad traits don’t work for you, then you’re half way to the finish line.  All you have to do is love yourself, trust and believe in yourself.  Although I advise many of my readers in relationship psychology, I never profess to speak for them, because only you can speak for yourself. 

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