Friday, December 16, 2011

Down Low Brotha

The DL Brother


The DL brother is right underneath your nose. He's in your church choir, church, school, job site, house, family, and he might even be your closest friend or lover.
Unfortunately, in certain major cities that host these kinds of brothas like, LA, DC, ATL, etc,they rule. I don't know everything but I believe i can spot a down low brotha from a mile away. Here's some key signs:

1)First off, a down low brotha will never, ever , ever, build you up! In fact they're the type of brothas that bring you down and leave you feeling lonely, stupid, played, rejected and undesirable. If anything, they weigh you down. They rarely compliment you, are they are never there for you emotionally, physically and do not make you feel like the queen you are. As a matter of fact, they send lots of mix messages, like most guys, which keeps you thrown off for a long time. The only difference is, their mix messages are a lot more contradictory that the heterosexual man's mix messages. With a heterosexual man, he may have an attraction for you, but not be serious about a relationship with you, and his actions show that, but the DL brothas actions totally contradict his verbal words. The DL brotha will say he loves you, wants to be with you, desires you, wants to experience so many great things with you,yet his actions are totally opposite and quite confusing.

2)The DL brotha always chooses two types of women to pursue; the strong or the naive. They pursue strong women, due to conflicts with their mother. In that case, his misogynist instincts kick in, and their only job in that case is, to bring hell to your life, while still being conflicted at the same time, due to trying to conquer his issues from childhood. The second type of woman he pursues is the naive woman. This woman is usually the woman he chooses to settle down with, because of course, the naive woman expects nothing. She's clueless to this types of stuff. She might be gullible, insecure, in denial, ugly,desperate or just insane, etc. His goal is to settle down with a woman who will be his cover up, and one who will never find out his secret. He chooses a woman he doesn't have to give much affection to, nor show that much attraction towards.

3)The Down Low brotha always seeks a cover up. In other words, a woman who he can use as a cover up for his attraction towards men.

4) The down low brotha that is not ready for a commitment will always choose a woman who will be conflicting of something he can't commit to. For example, he purses the woman who he can't stand. He pursues a woman who is too strong for him. He pursues a woman who has her shit together. He pursues a woman who desires a heterosexual man who is not twisted. He pursues a woman who he is not like minded with. He pursues a woman with totally different values than he has. Last but not least, he pursues a woman whom he can't get along with. The purpose of him doing this is to come up with excuses as to why he is single and without a woman, just another cover up!

5)He ain't shit.

6)He never makes a move. Down low brothas never make a move, ever notice that? You've been owt with this guy several times, and he never makes a move. He never touches your hand and he never tries to kiss you. They never want to have sex, which you shouldn't be doing if you're not married anyway. On the other hand, men are more sexual and they will show that behavior, rather its sinful or not. Down low brothas also never want to kiss. Down low brothas never want to hug. They never make a move and when they finally do, it feels ingenuine , like its your uncle or something. Down low brothas talk a lot about wanting to be in a relationship, yet they never make a move and they do everything that will keep a relationship from blossoming.

7) DL Brothas usually look up to you. I don't know about you but a man looking up to me is some gay ass shit if I've ever seen it. Its one thing to admire and adore a woman but, its a whole different story for a man to actually look up to a woman, as a role model, unless of course she's an older sister, mentor or motivational person, i.e. successful woman or celebrity. Otherwise, it's pretty effeminate. A heterosexual man usually desires for a woman to admire him.

8)The DL brotha usually hates women. They can be some of the most frustrated men on the planet. Every woman sucks ass to them and they find every reason to hate each woman they meet. In their eyes, there is something wrong with every woman, but him. If you can convince every body that its the other person's fault, then all the attention is off of yourself, right?

9)They speak like a lady. For example, "Hey Girl". "You know what, I'ma get you". "You better stop". "I need to loose weight". "She was trying to get in my drawers". "She was trying to get with me". "Buy me this or that". They substitute all female language with, a male dialect. In other words, if you listen closely and close your eyes when talking to a DL brotha, you would think you were talking to your deep voice homegirl.

10) He told you what male celebrity he would be with if he were gay, or refers to certain male celebrities as his male crush. What kind of man do you know that would have the nerve to think about what male he would like to be with, if he could. That is the downest , down low shit I've ever heard of. I was once asked this question in the reverse form, by a male, which i told him i could not answer, without putting myself in that twisted mind frame,which isn't my element, but he insisted on playing this question game and revealed what male crushes he would love to have, if her were gay. SMH

11) DL brothas are non committal and the biggest emotional guys you will ever meet. They are drama kings.

12) They may say things like, "I'm attracted to you", or "I want you" , or be extremely nasty. They do and say things that usually don't need explanation.

13) They claim to want you , although they live distances away. They may even do things that make absolutely no sense like, travel long distances to see you, only to not make a move nor pursue you. They may even wait to confess their supposed love to you, when you relocate, but never said anything when you were only a few miles away. Remember the in congruence and confusion that is constantly shown in his behavior.

14) Oh and not to mention, Down Low brothas think they have us all fooled. They believe that, we don't know or suspect anything! Ha. We just don't say anything, and half the time, to keep our own sanity,we deny it ourselves. They do not have anyone fooled. They are not out smarting us. Its just that, women have a history and pattern of being insecure and desperate for love, so they use those weaknesses and play on them. Remember his truth will always be revealed in the innuendo's , aka in congruences within his behavior. Think I'm lying,and you will continue to get caught up and be down in the dumps. All actions speak louder than words.

15) DL Brothas always have some sly remark and or frustration about having to put in the work to pursue a woman. They would rather be chased, rather than chase. To chase after a woman they really don't want deep down inside, is insanity to him.

16) There is always some reason for a DL brotha being single. He acts as if there just aren't any good women out there and or women aren't acting right, nor making it easy for him. Truth of the matter is, a man can pursue and search for any woman of his desires, so that's just bullshit!

17) Down low men sometimes even get married. Many down low brothas have been married before, and some stay married. They usually target a certain woman, who won't be able to figure his secret out. Most DL's are divorcees. They love to get married because its more of smoke screen distraction, and steers you away from his actual secret.  Don't be fooled by this. If he's suspect he's suspect, no matter if he's married and or been married before. It's all a cover up. Hell, many DL's have children, and it means nothing.

18) Stay away from the poindexter's! I hate these kinds. They are the overly politically correct, up right, suit wearing, well groomed, nerdy type dudes. They usually are well spoken, well educated and totally geeky. Yea right! That's another cover up. As it will appear to the world as, poindexture, but he's really just a freak on the low. Get a real man and shake this guy!

19) The DL church man. I hate to write this , but many hide out there. Not all , of course. Many real men are in the church, because everyone needs spiritual healing. Many DL brothas are also there, and you must be able to decipher which is which and who is who.

20) Down low men love Asian and White women and also naive women. Asian women and White women are easy targets for these kinds of men, because they may not be aware of the signs, and because DL brothas are usually more masculine than other men in other races, their feminine gestures and suspect behavior is usually a smoke screen. No offense women, its just the way the cookie crumbles. DL brothas are also attracted to naive women of all races, why? because they are naive and lack worldly experience. Don't get it twisted , they love strong women as well, especially strong women , but that usually never last because the strong woman is not a good candidate in the long run. lol

20) Down low brothas usually have an object of focus. Meaning, they focus the attention outwardly, to keep people from focusing on them. Notice how they keep their eyes on your every move and or their focus is on something other than themselves. They usually have an object of focus , to keep the attention off of themselves.

-Don't chase after him and don't fall into his trap. You will be doomed for failure every time.


Whelp,that's all I know for now
Peaceeeee

Follow maledecoded @maletalk101

8 comments:

  1. Holy shit this just nailed my husband to the tee your the only sight I've come across so far who has the insight too realize that these men hate women ,thank you for writing this I thought I was going crazy ,with all these other sights just not seeming to quite get the picture of how manipulative and disgusting these pieces of refuse actually are .It's not the fact of finding out that there gay that hurts but the absolute betrayal and devastation they leave behind with there lies.I'm at a loss on how to ever trust again.

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    2. Omg...I totally agree and to think all this time i thought there was something wrong with me..These brothas should really be ashamed.

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    1. No problem sis. If he seems questionable , he probably is.

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    2. whatever the case is, he's definitely a pain in the ass!

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  3. WOW! I had been confused, left to think there was something or everything wrong with me! All but ONE of this list described the man who was my lover (now my bff). Thank you for this list.

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  4. Wow. I thought maybe i was going crazy as well. I am what you classified as the strong woman but i may also be naive due to the lack of wordly experiences. I too have a husband who totally ignores, rarely have sex, rather be with his homeboys instead of me, constantly talking on his cell phone to his friends, wont help me with just about anything. I thought maybe if i was completely supportive and helped him out that maybe he would in fact be the same way to me. You know lead by example and treat others how you expect to be treated. Well none of that has ever worked for me. He does very minimal things for me. On many of occasions ive caught him alone with his friends. Different onea of course. I actually confronted him once and asked if he was downlow. He didnt deny it he just asked me why did i think that. Then this last time, which was last night, i over hear a loud moan and my house vibrate a little in the back yard. My patio door was open so i went to it and called out his name but he didn't respond. So i wnet downstairsand saw him and his friend sitting down. My daughter said they had just came in while i waa calling his name. They were both drunk as hell. Now im hoping that maybe my mind was just playing tricks on me. It has been on my mind all day. Am i still being naive and looking for excuses?

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