Thursday, February 11, 2010

Women Assuming A man's feelings

Good Afternoon,

Class has begun. How many of you women can raise your hands and say that, you've been head over heels,in like, in love, or infatuated? Can we say, I. Women can fall head over heels, based off of the anticipation of something desirable manifesting. A woman tends to believe that, when she is head over heels, so is the man she is head over heels for. Research shows that, we blame others for the way we feel. In other words, if someone behaves a certain way, you will blame their behavior on their disposition and character, and when you behave a certain way, you blame it on outside influences, or the situation(Fiske, 2004). It is also true for a woman, that when she likes a guy, she assumes he is doing something to intentionally make her like him, and although it may be true, is it 100% true, or does some of those feelings reflect , fantasy island, her mental state? In psychology, we learn that, no one can make you feel happy, nor sad. They can only present a behavior that as a result, you are stimulated to feel a certain way about. Unless someone is intentionally trying to make you feel good or bad, and or inducing harm to you, they aren't forcing you to feel anything. You are still in control of what you allow yourself to react to. So instead of saying, "you make me happy, or sad", you can say, "I feel this way, as a result to what you have presented before me", lol. A woman unconsciously feels that, a man is forcing her to feel love for him. Now if he is courting you and trying to make you feel good intentionally, fine, so be it, enjoy it. But before you assume a man feels the same way you do, make sure. Sometimes women get so far beyond themselves and take off at full speed, leaving the guy behind, assuming he feels the same, thinking to themselves, "if i feel this way, than so must he", or "so will he", for the wishful thinkers, lol.
The only way to know how a man feels, is to know! Observe his actions, and see if they suit his words. If his actions, behavior or words do not match, there is an in congruence. Evaluate how he feels, based off of what he does, and what he says to you. Do not assume a man feels the same way you feel, unless you know for a fact, he does. Trust me, you will know when a man is head over heels for you, because, he will carry you in his spirit, he will make you apart of his world, without disrupting your world. He will not try to change you, nor conform you, he will accept you and embrace you the way you are. He will learn you and not assume he already knows you after a couple days, weeks or months. He will honor you, support you, make sure he provides resources for your survival. He will also profess his love for you and aim to protect you. A man loves differently from a woman, his love is very action oriented. Every man's love is different, but the only way to measure a man's desire for you, is to measure that man. Follow your gut feelings, you know the answer. The only way to know is, to know.

In the words of a Psychologists I know, "Don't make a decision, unless it's an informed decision".

Take your time and do not assume anything~

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